Wednesday with doctor B. We arrived at the clinic, about 30 minutes too early. So what else was there to do? Sit in the car and eat Chocolate cover donuts. After filling out countless paper work, which I had done numerous times these past months we waited. For what seemed like decades. Then the nurse calls us back… She checks my blood pressure and weight, which my now I wasn’t even looking to see how much I had gained. Then she placed us in a room… for us to only have to wait even longer. The nurse came in to tell us, “Sorry ma’am but we have no records on you from your previous doctor” OHHH DELIGHTFUL, I thought! More wait time… Then they found it. It was now time to see doctor. What was he going to do? What was he going to try? Something invasive? Was he going to remove my brain? In all seriousness… That’s how my mind was working these days.
Doctor Bonner came in to introduce himself, chat about some history, tell me to get on a paper gown and he would be back. As I laid flat on my back, he observed me… head to toe. He said, “These are just normal hives” Well yes they are what other kinds could they be? He ordered test to be ran, regular blood work ups with a few extras. We went through my medicine list; He changed up a couple of things. I was back to just Hydroxyzine and some allergy pills. Why was it that he took me off all these medicines when he needed to be adding more? Dr. B asked about my steroid use, which I answered as honest as I could. I DID NOT WANT TO BE ON THEM. In my mind clearly all they were helping was for me to gain tons of weight. When a doctor laughs about something you take seriously, its never good. He mentioned we could try weaning myself off steroids but, he knew id be back on them really soon. When you have been on steroids for such long periods you can just stop. Your body will almost go in to shock because, by now your body needs the steroids.
Next, we discussed the options that Dishuck suggested. The only one he was certain would work would be the Zolair. So he sent in the Zolair lady to talk with us. Not until then did we fully understand the extent of Zolair. The FDA, has approved Zolair for use in Asthma patients… Very severe cases. This doesn’t mean your insurance will cover it, it just means that you’re able to get it with a prescription, legally. She gave us the spill about how Zolair is very affective in people with Urticaria, the medical term for hives. They have already gone through stage one of the trial. I could join the trail if I was a candidate. After almost an hour of discussing this trial, Come to find out until I’ve been off steroids for 30 days I was unable to join the study. Not just off steroids, but off all other medicines also. WAS THIS LADY CRAZY? How could I function without all my medicine? I was barely getting by as is. She left and the doctor came back. He began to dictate his notes into his recorder. Then he turns to me and says… ill see you back in a couple of weeks but, I think your cycle should run out by then, Its just a matter of time. A matter of time? What? It’s almost been 4 months of everyday episodes that seem to be getting worse by the day. I politely said okay! And make an appointment for 2 weeks.
It took every ounce of strength I had in me not to fall into tears in that waiting room. Just when you think someone is going to get you well, you get shot down again and again.
I was in no mood to drive so I handed my grandmother the keys. Not a word had been said since we left the office. We both sat in silence until my aunt called. By now it was past lunch and we had been there since 8. I’m sure everyone was worried, but I knew I couldn’t talk about it and surely wasn’t ready to call anyone and tell them the news. My grandmother tells my aunt a little bit of what happened and hands the phone to me. I immediately busted out into tears. I once again began to question why me? What is wrong with me?
"Take problems as God's way to improve you. Remember, it takes a ton of pressure to make a diamond"
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