Grateful to you all

HAPPY 20^th SAMMI!!!

A late night trip with one of the people who never told me, suck it up your fine! K- believed that I would figure it out, not only did he believe that I would soon be “healed” but always reassured me when I became what I call “crazy”, That I was normal… I was beautiful after gaining 20 pounds and that he was always there. Its nice to have someone be there even when they didn’t understand exactly what to do, and weren’t worried about how scary I looked at moments. As a woman this isnt a easy thing to swallow, the fact I gained that much weight so quick… Especially me! I love clothes, Beautiful ones! And you better believe I have a closet full of clothes and shoes… By this time my clothes did not fit, neither did my shoes! I WAS THAT SWOLLEN. So getting dressed up to make the drive to Starkville to a party of all things, wasn’t exactly what I was looking forward too. My roommate during this time was the best, she was worried, sympothetic, helpful, and always there when I needed her, NO MATTER WHAT! So how could I not make that drive, even if it was just for the night. Still to this day I am Thankful GRATEFUL to K for helping, and listening when I needed someone most. 

Hive were by now something I learned to deal with... It wasn't any longer a shock when I woke up! I just began to think, Im going to just have to live with this forever. There is nothing anyone can do for me... Depressed much? I THINK SO! 

Im not a person who likes to share my feeling with anyone, and if i'm sick you better just stay out of my way. But, when it comes to my Mom I need her around. I may yell or get mad at her for worrying me to death but, it's always just been us two. I HAVE TO HAVE HER. She had moved to Mobile and had a new job... The person I need most wasn't near me! Who could I trust to be my rock and not fall apart when I needed to break down and cry. I soon found out that wasn't anyone... I went to every doctor's visit alone, every pharmacy drop off and pick up! ALONE... I hate when people worry about me. I would be fine... I would be. I could take care of all this by myself. Never have that mind set, you need your family you need their support and love. I finally came around to letting my MeMe Brenda come along and share this crazy experience with me. She was strong enough not to cry, and not to ask too many questions. :) The one thing that helped most was the constant laugher we had. If it was her reapplying lip stick over and over... or always having to "LOOK GOOD" something she says, you need to do all the time because you never know who you may run into. Whatever the moment was, she didn't make me feel helpless or like I should be consoling her. That was a nice feeling... 

"Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind."

 - Christian Larson