March Madness

By now it is March and I am not even taking pictures of all my hives… my phone was full of pictures, proof, or a scary sight. Whatever you want to call it. I had stopped going out… and socializing! I felt as though this was making me insane… There were no patterns that would make me say, ohh that has to be it. I carried a notebook around with me at this time; recording every hive I had… all through the day! By the first day I had 2 pages covered of different accounts on my body of the hives. The doctor always wanted to know, so when are the worst times? Morning? Noon? Night? Well honestly, It was a guessing game... I would wake up and not know what I would look like. Some days, I would clear up quickly but then at other times Id have multiple different hives all through the day. One thing that was a definite was that I would have them no matter what. Not only were these hiving making me crazy, but they were also affecting my schoolwork. With only a couple of weeks left, I had some decisions to make. Do I withdrawal? Do I drop out? I’m a planner so this came to me as a shock… I never planned for this to happen. I became very angry with God and this entire situation. Why me? Why was this happening to me? It wasn’t a day later I was on twitter… Something about this tweet stood out to me! Was God trying to tell me something?

"God never sends us more than we can handle." - Mother Theresa

Even after this quote was permanently stamped in my mind, and my mind seemed to refer back to it many times I still didn’t understand. Why me? I got to the point where it didn’t seem like anyone understood, and I would always say, “ You don’t know your not in my shoes” How rude right? I’m telling you this stuff made me crazy.

Photos from those few weeks… Keep in mind: I’m still on steroids and its March, that means I’ve not only been taking them orally but I would also get shots every couple of weeks while in the ER. Do you know what steroids do for you? THEY MAKE YOU WANT TO EAT, EAT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. And that is exactly what I was doing.

I look so swollen because, I was retaining so much fluid from the steroids and I wasn't able to get rid of it.

To the left:

The Day after... This is what it began to look like when it started to go away! It was almost like it was bruising my skin.